?

Log in

LiveJournal for Red / Willow.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (player's journal.).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Tuesday, January 11th, 2005

Subject:Describe your "exact opposite."
Time:8:40 pm.
*frowns, biting her lip lightly as she concentrates*

In some ways, my human twin is my opposite - she's what I could have been, and vice versa. But there are a lot of similarities as well. It all depends how exact I'm supposed to be.

What is the opposite of a vampire? A creature that loathes blood? *smiles* Yes, my opposite would be a vegetarian, someone who cares so much for living beings that to kill something would be beyond the pale. Someone with a pure soul, who could never be in danger of losing it.

The person I was before I was turned was nearly my opposite. And sometimes I wish I was as well.
Comments: 15 love bites - bite me.

Tuesday, January 4th, 2005

Time:4:01 pm.
Mood: lonely.
Do you believe the possibility of a true friendship between a man and a woman?
I had it growing up - Xander and I were best friends. You couldn't separate us. Even in death, the Master couldn't break our bond. Then again, we were lovers after that.
Maybe that wasn't a good example.
Maybe I don't have any. I'm not good at having 'just friends'. *frowns*

Reflect on the past year in your muse's life, canon or fanon. Did they have children? Did they find 'God', forsake God? Did they marry? Break up? What was this past year like in the life of your muse?
What happened to me this year? Well, I ended up back in this world, the human one. I've learned to adjust. I've made friends (pixie_viscera, shadowed_kat, watcher_gman, e_rayne, wesley_w_price and others) and fallen in love. Found out love isn't fun anymore when you're not loved back. I've questioned whether having a soul would help me. I've tried to be "good," both for my sake - to keep me from being staked - and for the sake of others.
I've had more feelings than ever before in my life. And perhaps I'm a little more human than I used to be.
Comments: bite me.

Tuesday, December 21st, 2004

Subject:Write a drabble/ficlette based on the word: fun
Time:1:27 am.
Fun is a lot different here than it was in my world. I'm not even sure what to call fun in this world, at least for me. Well, besides the stuff I won't say so people don't get mad at me - there are children present. *rolls eyes*

I'm a vampire. Of course my idea of fun is different than yours. Do you like biting people? Even if you do, I doubt you like it as much as I do. I doubt you break skin and let their blood flow down your throat.

I like pain, too. A little intrigue. I'm not the girl I used to be, and sometimes that makes me sad. But I try not to think about it.

You gotta take your fun where you can get it, when you can get it.
Comments: 54 love bites - bite me.

Subject:What are your religious beliefs (and if you are a deity, do you enjoy being worshipped)?
Time:1:00 am.
Religious beliefs aren't exactly something I have. I was raised Jewish, but it's kinda hard to keep up any religion when you're a vampire. Not to mention there aren't any religions that know what to do with you when you don't have a soul.
The soul is the part that lives on, the part that lasts. So I guess when I turn to dust, that's the end of me. Whatever soul I've got is already wherever it belongs - Heaven, I guess, if there is one. I was a good girl. A sweet, innocent girl.

Now I'm not. Now, as far as religions go, I'm evil and deserve to die.

Is it any wonder I'm not religious?
Comments: bite me.

Friday, December 17th, 2004

Subject:*frowns* I don't understand it, but it's interesting.
Time:2:48 pm.
Mood: confused.
Your Life in the Buffy Universe by Karen_Walker
Your Name
You are a
You work at
Your mentor is
Your current lover is
You were once engaged to
Tried to kill you
The new big bad
Your best friend
Your sidekick
Your best quoteIce is cool. It's water but it's not.
Quiz created with MemeGen!


I'm best friends with the wolf boy? And Anya's not bad. Well... I like her, anyway. I don't even know that girl it says is my lover.
Comments: bite me.

Saturday, November 20th, 2004

Time:11:51 pm.
Mood: bored.
What is the biggest lie you ever told? What were the consequences?
I pretended to be the Willow from this world, so Cordelia (I have a hard time thinking of her as anything but 'food') would let me out of the book cage. It should've been easy, but then she had to lecture me about something to do with Xander. And it wasn't even my Xander she was talking about.... it was the Xander from this world. Apparently here they dated, but my twin goti n on the action. Good for her, I say.

I had to listen to her to her talk for ages. So boring. I don't like listening to my food. But I didn't even get a taste that time. *pouts*


Describe the best 24 hours you ever had.
I don't know if it was the best. I don't know if there was ever a 'best'. Days bleed together in a swash of red, one leading into the next, never really changing.

But the most interesting 24 hours was my first time in this world, knowing something was different, but unable to put a finger on what, exactly. Meeting the girl with my face, her human friends who so resembled my own (how I mourned for my poor Xander then!)... the Slayer. Interesting how she couldn't even see past the face of her friend to see that I wasn't that Willow, hadn't been for a long time.

*shakes head* Sometimes humans are so short-sighted. Perhaps it's the fact that they don't live long. And I don't help with that. *smirks*


Who would you like to see get their final comeuppance? And just what would you like to do to them?
The only person I really don't like is the Slayer, though I understand she's not the only one anymore. Even though she didn't even kill me. She couldn't face the idea of dusting someone with the face of her friend.
*shrugs* Worked out well for me.....

Still, she kills my kind. I don't like that much, even if she didn't kill me personally.

Not that I'm fond of humans on the whole.

Especially not certain ones.

*is glad she can't blush, as she hasn't fed recently enough*

Muse: Vampire Willow
Fandom: BtVS
Comments: 1 love bite - bite me.

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004

Time:9:55 pm.
Does heartache make you stronger?
Any pain makes you stronger. I felt the pain of death, and am nearly invincible. That is not to say that I do not feel, but perhaps only certain things touch me.
I have felt much heartache, much of it when I was still human. Not as much hurts now. I don't let it. I refuse to let it in.

If you won the equivalent of $2,000, and had to spend it, what would you spend it on?
Paying back those who have given me so much. What need have I for money, except to buy more blood? No one should be responsible for me but myself.
I know my friends here have spent their money on me. It seems only right that I give back.

What happened the first time you got drunk?
I've never been drunk on simple alcohol - I was too young for that when I was turned. The girl I was then would have never touched a drop anyway. She was too sweet, too good, too innocent.
I'm not now.
The first time I satisfied the blood lust, though.... I remember it every time I feed. There's nothing as good as the first time, knowing you need to drink, feeling the blood fill your body and make you whole.
I drank her dry, the pretty blonde I'd taken into the alley with me, and she was sweet.

What makes you feel vulnerable and what makes you feel invulnerable, and why?
The only things I'm afraid of are sunlight, stakes, and crosses. They're all bad. Guess I'm not a fan of death, despite being good at bringing it if I choose. Nothing can scare me if it doesn't want to kill me. I can kill things too. *shows fangs* See?

What would you place in a personal ad if you were making one?
"Want to stay young forever? Beautiful, sexy girl seeks partner for etermity. Must like blood, games, and black leather. Let me show you what it's like to be ageless."

*smirks* Do I really need to explain?
Comments: 20 love bites - bite me.

Thursday, September 30th, 2004

Subject:Who has had the most influence on your life?
Time:7:28 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
The Master. The Slayer killed him in this world, but in mine.. he made me what I am. Isn't that what influence is? Shaping someone?

Though I seem to have become rather... unshaped... in this world.

Here, it's been the Watchers - Giles and Wesley. They've both looked out for me, called me friend. Taught me what I can and cannot do and still survive, and for that I'm grateful.

Muse: Vampire Willow
Fandom: BtVS
Comments: 176 love bites - bite me.

Sunday, September 12th, 2004

Subject: Do you confront your problems head on, or ignore them until you have to do something?
Time:7:22 pm.
Do you confront your problems head on, or ignore them until you have to do something?

Problems? Define "problem." Anything's a problem if you let it become one. If something bothers me, I change it. Simple as that.

Except sometimes not so simple.

This world scared me when I got here, because it wasn't home and I couldn't get back. I no longer see it as a problem, because I've learned to adjust. Am still learning. I don't know if I'll ever be happy, but I'm no longer sad. There are those I would miss if I left.


Do you procrastinate?

Why procrastinate about something you want? I like my problems nonexistent.

Muse: Vampire Willow
Fandom: BtVS
Comments: 44 love bites - bite me.

Thursday, July 8th, 2004

Subject:Would you choose to live forever if you had the choice?
Time:11:06 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Simple enough: yes. In fact, I already have. Haven't I? Well, unless someone cuts off my head or shoves a stake in my heart, that is.
I'd like to live forever. Wouldn't everyone?

Muse: Vampire Willow
Fandom: BtVS
Comments: 194 love bites - bite me.

Sunday, June 20th, 2004

Subject:got some catching up to do (TM)
Time:8:44 pm.
If you could invent a holiday, what and when would it be? What special traditions would take place?
How about 'free to kill and torture all the people you want without getting staked day'? Or 'play whatever games you want and feel no regrets day'?
Oh, wait, that's just like home. Those things can't happen here.
...Can they?

What's a typical day for you?
Wake up, stay out of the sun. Talk to friends - Kitten, maybe Dru. Try to keep myself out of trouble, though that rarely happens. Find someone to play with, whichever games they prefer. Try not to remember the way things used to be. Try to make myself feel at home in this world, to be 'good'.

The world will end tomorrow. What do you do today?
If the world ceases to exist, there can be no regrets. That means I can do what I please, with no worry of hurting anyone or displeasing them.
It never used to matter, what others thought. I had my place in the world, and that world was mine. This one isn't, and can never be.
But if the world were to end, I'd try to make this one mine, even if just for a little while. I'd be free to kill again, to turn others to my kind. And since it was all ending, it wouldn't really matter.

Even though I don't think I could do it anymore.

What have you most regretted losing?
My confidence. Here, it doesn't exist. This world, no matter how used to it I get, is not my own and never will be. I'll never feel completely safe.
Comments: bite me.

Friday, May 14th, 2004

Subject:note to self: put in userinfo
Time:6:47 pm.
LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:redvampwillow
Your haiku:would've laughed was i
going to explain myself it's
the other willow
Username:
Created by Grahame
Comments: 62 love bites - bite me.

Saturday, May 8th, 2004

Subject:shadowed_kat's dare
Time:1:24 pm.
Mood: cranky.


There, I'm wearing it. Are you happy, Kitten?
Comments: 13 love bites - bite me.

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

Subject:What's better: democracy or monarchy?
Time:8:36 pm.
(cross-posted to theatrical_muse)

*shrugs* I make my own rules. Did you think I was under human rule?
Here, I live under no one. At home, it was the Master, always the Master. He was our king, our everything.
Sometimes I miss that a little. But I don't miss the threat of death hanging over my head. Now if I do something, it's my own problem. I don't have to fear anything but myself, or maybe the Slayer.
But I don't think she knows I'm here. Or doesn't care. Or something.

Muse: Vampire Willow
Fandom: BtVS
Comments: 563 love bites - bite me.

Monday, March 29th, 2004

Time:1:49 pm.
Mood: lonely.
Wish I had more friends, though I'm lucky to have the ones I do. Kitten's sweet, and she's not scared of what I am. Dru is what I am, and sometimes I think she's the only one who understands. And Giles.... I like him very much, but I don't always understand him. I don't know how I don't frighten him, why he doesn't want to stake me.
Not that I'm complaining.

I hope I never run into Spike again. I want to hurt him, but it would upset Dru, It never does to upset Dru.
Comments: 62 love bites - bite me.

Sunday, February 29th, 2004

Time:5:13 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
I'm going to kill Spike next time I see him. First he rips all my clothes, then he won't give me something else to wear. Then he runs away.
Jerk.
At least we had fun. Well, sort of. He wouldn't help me up, either.
Jerk.
Someone should stake him.
Comments: 14 love bites - bite me.

Saturday, February 28th, 2004

Subject:shopping with shadowed_kat
Time:7:26 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Willow wasn't sure how to get to New York, but that's where Kat said to meet her, in New York. She had the address of the hotel and the faith that comes from having a friend, her first in years.
Not many people would help a vampire, especially one dressed in a tight leather outfit. Especially one that smiled like she did, that seemed to hint at something playfully nasty, something you wouldn't want to admit to in polite society. But she was able to convince people to give her money and whatever else she needed on the way.
Once she was in the city, she hailed a cab and asked the driver to take her to the hotel where Kat was staying. It didn't take that long, and she tipped extra because he showed no fear. That sort of thing tended to impress her.
She strode into the hotel like she owned it, careful not to walk too close to any mirrors that might give her away, took the elevator up to Kat's floor, and walked up to her door.
"Kitten? Are you there? It's me, Red."
Comments: 291 love bites - bite me.

Friday, February 27th, 2004

Time:8:01 pm.
Mood: cranky.
Someday, you will ache like I ache.

i am doll eyes
doll mouth, doll legs
i am doll arms, big veins
dog bait
yeah, they really want you
they really want you, they really do
yeah, they really want you
they really want you, and i do too
i want to be the girl with the most cake
i love it so much it just turns to hate
i fake it so true, i am beyond fake
and someday, you will ache like i ache
someday, you will ache like i ache
i am doll parts
bad skin, doll heart
it's stands for knife
for the rest of my life
yeah, they really want you
they really want you, they really do
yeah, they really want you
they really want you, and i do too
i want to be the girl with the most cake
he only loves those things because he loves
to see them break
i fake it so true i am beyond fake
and someday, you will ache like i ache
someday, you will ache like i ache
someday, you will ache like i ache
someday, you will ache like i ache
someday, you will ache like i ache



I'm so lonely, although I have friends now. It's strange. I don't think I've had a friend since I was human. It's nice, though. Can't bite them. Got other things to bite, now.
Comments: bite me.

Thursday, February 26th, 2004

Subject:5 questions from watcher_gman
Time:10:35 am.
Mood: discontent.

1. Where are you staying?
With Drusilla, currently. I don't know where else to go. Everyone tells me Sunnydale no longer exists, so I can't go there. Wish I could, though.

2. Describe a perfect day (or night, as the case may be).
My idea of 'perfect' changes from day to day, so this isn't as easy as it should be. Sometimes I wish to just wake up and find out being here was all some sort of nightmare, and that I'm back in my own world with my Xander and that nothing has changed. Other times, I wish I could go back to Sunnydale and be surrounded by family and friends, and still others I wish that I could be human again and live what you would consider a 'normal' life. I guess what I really want is a day where I don't question myself, who and what I am, and everyone else who comes into contact with me.

3. Do you keep any pets?
No, although I wouldn't be averse to one. I'm rather fond of cats, personally.

4. What are some of your hobbies?
Fun, in whatever ways I can find it. I like to talk to people, to dance, to flirt. I like walking the streets at night alone, knowing I'm more than a match for anything that might want to hurt me. And *smirks* I like to play. Not necessarily to hurt, but to... enjoy.


5. If you could have three wishes desires granted, what would they be?
1. To find where I belong, and what my purpose is, provided I have one (which I can't help doubting).
2. To feel love again. I've been feeling so lonely...
3. To go back to Sunnydale, in whatever form.

If you want to be interviewed...
1 - Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Comments: 42 love bites - bite me.

Wednesday, December 17th, 2003

Time:1:17 am.
Mood: confused.
*pouts* Why am I back in this stupid world again? Wonder if it was the other me that did it, like last time. Or that demon girl. I liked me better, though.
Either way, I'm back in bad old Sunnydale, where there are no curfews and the people are as oblivious as ever. Maybe I'll pop by the Bronze and see if I can score a snack or two. *smirks*
Comments: bite me.

LiveJournal for Red / Willow.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (player's journal.).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.